Meeting Rory - The Story Of His Birth
I’ve written and deleted this post so many times. I don’t really know why, I guess I just don’t feel like I have the words to describe all of this. No words to express the mind blowing experience of bringing life into the world.
The feeling when you meet your little boy, there just aren’t any words.
So instead, I’ll just write. Write down what happened, the crazy, wonderful whirlwind that was my little Rory’s entrance to the world……
Our due date came and went. I kind of expected that we would need to wait for our little guy, just as we did with Ollie. I did my very best to stay calm and not let the anxiety about needing to be induced kick in.
I should first explain that my labor with Ollie was not the “natural water birth” I’d planed for. In short, I was induced due to a ruptured membrane. My body had a reaction to the induction and the contractions were far more extreme than if I’d gone into labour naturally. In order to cope with the pain, and tiredness, I had diamorphine and eventually an epidural. I was prepped for an emergency c-section, but Ollie was delivered by forceps on my final chance to push, 3 days after labour started.
In the end it was painless (due to the drugs), but also quite exhausting and blurry. I wish so much that I could remember the moments with more clarity. All that said, it was still wonderful, and all worth it to meet my baby boy. I very quickly knew I would do it all again tomorrow.
So anyway, back to Rory being 5 days overdue….
At 40weeks +5, I had my final midwife appointment where she offered me a ‘sweep’. I’d had the same with Ollie and found it pretty uncomfortable, but I tried my best to stay relaxed and breathe naturally. This time though, it didn’t hurt at all, and my lovely midwife looked very happy as she whipped off her glove and said
…”I don’t think he’s going to keep you waiting much longer, you’re almost 2cm”….
I couldn’t believe it! I know that so many women experience being slightly dilated for days, weeks even, but I was so pleased that my body was starting to do things on its own. It was the boost in confidence that I needed.
I had been practicing Hypnobirthing since around 20weeks. My friend recommended downloading THESE tracks, and now I would recommend them too. My midwife was also a hypnobirthing instructor, and knew I’d been practicing. She reassured me that I was very calm, and to stay that way because my body knew what to do. I skipped off to the car texting Col and all my nearest and dearest.
That night I put Ollie to bed. He still felt so small, still very much my baby. I whispered “you might be a big brother tomorrow”. I’m not sure I really believed it, but I felt like something was about you happen.
That night I woke up at 2am. Very gentle tightenings every 10 mins or so. Not in any way painful, but enough to wake me up.
Crazy excited, I poked and prodded at Colin to share the news
…”I’m having tightenings, they don’t hurt but maybe this is it”…
Needless to say neither of us could go back to sleep and we spent the rest of the night chatting in the dark.
The next morning Mum arrived, she’d been on standby waiting for my call. The tightenings were still very gentle, but I wanted her to be there just in case things moved quickly. Colin worked from home that day and Ollie went off to nursery.
I went about my business as usual, had a bath, washed my hair. In the afternoon we had lunch and I continued with my obsessive nesting. Gradually the tightenings became stronger and more painful, but never unbearable.
I was timing them on my phone using one of those contraction aps, they were irregular and very moderate all day.
Putting Ollie to bed, I felt slightly disappointed that perhaps today wasn’t going to be the day after all.
We sat down to dinner together around 8pm. This is when things started to step up a gear. I tucked into my dinner, feeling much more hungry than usual, every few minutes stopping to stand and lean over the table to breathe through the pain. It still felt totally manageable, nothing compared to my memories of Oliver’s labor. I was so sure that this was just the beginning.
After dinner, Col lit some candles and ran me a bath. Baths always help to soothe me and sure enough, it did. This was around 9pm. I told Colin to try to get some sleep in case things kicked off during the night, I needed him to have some energy.
I lay in the warm bath listening to the piano music I’d listened to to relax while my mum sat next to me timing the contractions. With each tightening I bent forward, and found myself rocking slightly. Between these pains though I was calm, focused, and able to have a conversation.
Looking back now, this all feels almost dream-like. I was deeply relaxed and calm, just focusing on my breath. After what was only around 40 mins in the bath, the contractions were still quite irregular but far more frequent and intense. I asked my mum how many I’d had in the last 10 minutes.
…”Four”… she replied.
Time to go!! In the time it took me to get out of bath and into our bedroom the contractions seem to have increased so much in strength that I could no longer stand or move during them. They were a minute apart, a minute long and fierce, pulling me onto all-fours. I could feel the silent panic around me as Colin rushed to get dressed and load the car with our bags. I could barely walk to the car as each contraction pulled me down. We had a 40 minute drive ahead of us to Gloucester hospital. I think we all knew at that point that we might not make it. My mum handed Colin a load of clean towels (yikes!) and we sped off out of the driveway.
The bumpy motion of the car speeding through the country lanes instantly made things progress further. Just minutes after leaving the house I felt a huge amount of pressure and…wait for it…the urge to push!!
God bless Colin, the look on his face when I shouted …”I think I need to push!!”…was one of utter disbelief!
How could this be happening to us? He responded
…”No babe, I’m going to get you there!”…
The journey felt like an eternity, each contraction got stronger and the pressure more and more intense.
The strange thing about labor is that during the break in contractions, you feel no pain at all. It was during this time I found myself demanding various things
…”turn the heated seats on!”
“Turn them off!”
“Windows open”
“Closed!”
“Water!”…
Poor Colin!
I have to say that he is and always has been my hero, but this really was putting him to the test. All I can say is that he was utterly amazing. Our Hero.
He was incredibly calm, confident and focussed. He called the midwife to let her know that we needed them to be ready and waiting as the baby was coming. It was during this phoncall that I heard her say
…” If you’re not going to make it you need to pull over, call an ambulance and do what you have to do”…
It was at this point that I felt a huge release. My waters broke, still with 20 minutes ahead of us. I reassured Colin that it was OK, just my waters, that was the pressure that I’d been feeling. It wasn’t the baby.
Silly me. The next contraction came with so much intensity, this was definitely it.
With the waters now gone, I could feel my body drawing my baby through my body. We had 3 miles still to go. Colin was counting down in contractions for me, encouraging me to breathe and driving I hate to think how fast.
We pulled into the hospital grounds
..”we’re here! we’re here!”…he said.
I could hear the relief in his voice. He lept out of the car and returned seconds later with a wheelchair. I could barely move and the urge to push was almost impossible to fight any longer.
Sweating and panting, still focusing on my breath, Colin sprinted with me through the hospital. It felt like there were endless doors and lifts for us to get through. All I remember is the look on strangers faces when they could see me coming towards them. Shock and terror. Was I in labour or was I in labour!?! It actually makes me giggle a little thinking about this sprint through the hospital now.
We arrived at the maternity ward where our midwife rushed us into a small room. I don’t remember even saying hello. She whipped off my trousers and I could already feel his head.
She was amazing! Just what both Colin and I needed. Calm and confident. She helped me onto the bed. She smiled and said
…”He’s got dark hair, 2 pushes and your baby will be here”…
My eyes met Colin’s. He looked worried and exhausted. I can honestly say I felt no pain at all, the adrenaline, excitement, hypnosis…whatever it was..had kicked in. I was about to hold my Rory.
Into my arms he came. As soon I set eyes on my beautiful boy, it was there again, that familiar feeling of my swelling heart, wrapping itself around my sweet baby. What a gift!!
STILL FULLY CLOTHED, JUST MINUTES AFTER ARRIVING AT THE HOSPITAL, HE WAS IN MY ARMS.
I looked at Colin and we both cried. Knowing just how the other felt and so so proud of each other and our boy.
OUR FIRST FEED, IMMEDIATELY AFTER HIS BIRTH
Unlike the first time I met Ollie, I remember this clearly. Of course I remember the incredible rush of love, and the look on his beautiful little face. But much of Ollie’s birth is a cloudy blur. The drugs and tiredness have left me with memories that are almost dreamlike. My labor with Rory is crystal clear.
It was incredible. And whoever thought they’d hear themselves say that!?!
That night Col and I slept together in the hospital. The maternity lead ward at Gloucester is wonderful, and every midwife was angelic. Kind and caring. We couldn’t have wished for more.
I stayed up most of the night staring at my beautiful boy. There’s something so euphoric about those first hours with your baby. He was all swaddled up in those hospital sheets and had a funny lilac knitted hat on. He was perfection. So much like Ollie. They are almost identical. He felt so familiar. Just gorgeous.
OUR FIRST SELFIE, HOURS OLD IN A DARK AND GRAINY HOSPITAL ROOM. BUT I JUST LOVE HOW HAPPY I LOOK. I WAS ON CLOUD 9, STILL AM.
He fed well, focused and natural, it felt so good. He’s still the same now. Such a strong, easy and content little man. I can already see his personality, and how he’s different to his brothers.
I really hope I’ve done the whole thing justice. I so wanted to share our positive (if slightly dramatic) experience because positivity is the essence of hypnobirthing. I honestly feel like practicing hypnobirthing put my mind in a very different place to my first experience of childbirth. That said, every birth and every mother is different, and I also understand, and agree, that no matter how our babies get here, as long as it’s safely, that’s all that really matters.
I’m no expert, but if anyone has any questions about hypnobirthing, or just labor/ breastfeeding in general, I consider you guys my friends and I would love to help if I can, so please do pop them below.
I would also love to hear from you, how did your babe enter the world? Did you have a very different experience the second, third or forth time?
